“They could be selling food, designer clothing, the concept of time, any kind of fuel, clockwork machines, just to name a few examples,” said industry expert Heathcliff Jenkins. “When you include ‘beyond’ in your name, you aren’t limited to just domestic items, but it seems like the BBB board is committed, somewhat myopically, to that idea.”

“Don’t you get it? Unlike other stores like ‘The Lego Store’ or ‘The Apple Store,’ which could really only sell Legos or Apples, I could name you any product, concept, or idea that you could think of, and there will always be things beyond. No one understands this! It’s a genius move!” continued Jenkins, growing redder and more irate at the shortcomings of the household goods retailer. “You cannot conceive of the potential they squandered. I weep for the future we could have had.”

At press time, TJ Maxx was really not recognizing its full potential as a porn star’s name.