“Yeah, one second Dr. Mitchell was reaching into the patient’s abdomen and pulling out the kidney, and the next, a man in a flowing yellow cape was pulling scarf after scarf out of the patient,” recounted nurse Jessie Ramirez, who reportedly stood slack-jawed as the surgeon/magician continued the operation. “Then he shouted, ‘For my next trick, I’ll make this appendix disappear!’”

“Sure, we’ve had complaints here and there about medical malpractice and sanitation concerns in the operating room,” said hospital president David Saunders, whose desk sported a Zozento the Illustrious commemorative scalpel/wand and a top hat with attached head mirror. “But Zozento’s medical and magical skills are just too good to pass up."

“One time he sawed a patient in half both as an operation and as a trick,” added Saunders, who had hired Dr. Mitchell as part of an initiative to advance interdisciplinary medicine. “And another time, he made doves fly out of someone’s small intestine.”

At press time, Dr. Mitchell had made 30 tablets of Vicodin mysteriously disappear.