1940s Musical Insists On Canceling Itself With “Chinatown Ballet” Or Some Shit

Published Friday, April 22nd, 2022
Filed under Arts & Culture

“The plot is totally innocuous,” said music historian Julia Clarke. “It’s about a poor man who falls in love with the daughter of an oil baron. He’s poor, she’s rich, finally the father gives in and lets true love win and they get married. And for absolutely no reason at all, once they’re married they go to celebrate at the ‘Chinatown Ballet,’ and it’s as bad as you’d think.”

Clarke pointed out some of the other ways in which the musical seems to go out of its way to cancel itself, including an out-of-the-blue Persian Accent Contest and the Act II showstopper “Need Me A Woman (Or Else I’ll Turn Gay).”

“Again, none of this is part of the plot,” said Clarke, sighing heavily. “It’s like they wanted to make sure this wouldn’t stand the test of time, so they added the deaf sidekick and the subplot about the local hussy who says no when she really means yes. It’s… not great.”

At press time, hundreds of high schools across the country were mounting productions of And Away We Go!