Actor In Shakespeare Play Excited to Air-Hump At All the Sex Lines

Published Friday, March 12th, 2021
Filed under Off Campus

“I’m really looking forward to making some bold choices this season,” said Caribou of his choice do some gross body movements whenever a character refers to sex. “Not everyone knows that when Othello’s Iago says ‘The beast with two backs,’ he is referring to sex. I’m going to make these racy words feel electric by thrusting into the air while repeatedly cocking my eyebrows.”

Caribou also plans to do a smarmy little tiger roar at the end of the line, even though his director specifically told him not to.

“Later in the season, as Benedick in Much Ado About Nothing, I get to say the line ‘I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes,’" Caribou said of the line, which he will make wholly uncomfortable for everyone. “Not many people know that at the time, ‘die’ was Elizabethan slang for orgasm, but I’m going to make the audience know. That’s why when I say the line, I’m going to let out a show-stopping sex moan. And I’ll do it while air-humping of course!”

At press time, Caribou put on a jingly clown hat to let the audience know his character is supposed to be funny.