“Alex is the lowest scum on this earth. When he enters a room, a bone-chilling draft accompanies him as if to announce his malicious presence to the unfortunate souls who have the displeasure of interacting with him,” said Owen, plotting a brutal retaliation against his mortal archnemesis Alex. “Ever since the day I met Alex, I knew there was something evil about him. I think most people are inherently good, but not Alex. Alex’s heart is corrupted down to its core.”

“What do I think about Owen? He’s alright, I guess. A little off-putting sometimes,” sighed Alex, who saw Owen as a minor nuisance. “I did catch him glaring at me when I passed him on the sidewalk the other day. I think he has something against me, but I don’t really mind. To each their own or whatever.”

At press time, your best friend saw you as just a friend.