Providence-area sales representative and father of three Jim Torrington needs to know which of his sons did that horrible thing or else Christmas will not be held this year. Torrington maintains that Santa Claus is listed on his Blackberry’s speed dial, which might be a bluff but probably is not.

Torrington appears fully capable of making good on his threat to call the North Pole and tell Santa that he and his sons will not be celebrating the holidays this year and so will not be needing any presents come Christmas Eve.

“That’s not a threat, boys. It’s a warning,” he added.

Unless somebody comes clean and takes the fall, the festivities will be ruined for everyone. That means no stockings, no peppermint, no sleigh bells, no staying up late to watch “It’s a Wonderful Life,” John will not be getting his art set, Ben will not be getting his model aircraft carrier and Jim Jr. will have to go until his birthday with the same old teething ring.