“I’ve been lying my ass off for the past 8 billion years, and because nobody has that much experience, I am the perfect person to hire,” Jenkins said with complete sincerity during his interview. “I’ve worked with the best liars of all time just to hone my skill to perfection. Magicians, actors…and a lot of politicians. I’ve been working with politicians for around 8 billion years.”

“I can say with 100% confidence that I’m the best liar of all time,” stated Jenkins without a drop of sweat on him. “I was speaking within minutes of being born, and my first words were lies. I’ve never not lied. Except for this interview. This is the first time in my entire life where I am, in fact, telling the truth.”

At press time, Jenkins was seen bragging on social media about being 6’4 with a seven-figure salary and a nine-inch penis.