“Another conversation, another triumph,” Ruth told himself after easily defeating all his conversational partners. “It’s starting to become a daily thing. Yet again, I’m victorious in a war of words.”

“I wiped the floor with them,” Ruth continued, dusting off his hands like he had just won an Olympic event and not disrespectfully monopolized and ruined a nice conversation. “They never stood a chance. Honestly, I’m getting a little bored. No one can even challenge me these days.”

At press time, Ruth defeated an interlocutor in a battle of wits.