“Yum!” said Paine, eating her simple snack as if it were the only earthly joy a woman in the 1300’s offers herself as she relaxes for just one blissful moment, shading herself beside the milking cows. “Cheese and fruit! I feel so Euro!”

According to those close to Paine, she got the idea from a Trader Joe’s recipe Instagram. Sources also report that the snack makes her seem like a woman from 800 years ago closing her eyes as her weathered hands bring a modest snack to her lips, crumbs falling past her humble robes and landing on the dirt floor where chickens begin to gather.

“Mmm!” Paine continued, as if this were the one pleasure experienced by a poor medieval farm girl in a life of hardship, turmoil, and plague. “Okay, snack time is officially a success! Go me!”

At press time, Paine is now eating a sandwich with fig spread, goat cheese, and prosciutto like she’s a medieval king who will have nothing less than life’s finest pleasures.