“I just want to make sure my bi-sexual readers know that I view their identity as markedly detached from the norm,” reported Brooks, peppering the little lines into his articles. “I love watching people check the publication date—no, you’re not mistaken, that article was written this year.”

“As soon as I saw that hyphen, I knew what was up,” reported reader Katie Ng, rushing to Google the author’s Twitter. “Yeah, this guy definitely doesn’t want me to get married.”

At press time, Brooks expanded his repertoire by spelling it ‘anti-Semitism.’