Automatically Selected Zoom Host Recognized As New Alpha Of Group

Published Friday, February 5th, 2021
Filed under Campus Life

“When the professor left and I was made host, I guess I kinda became in charge,” Goodwin said, as if his classmates had initiated primal submissive behaviors to show deference to their new pack leader. “Everyone was pretty silent, so I tried to fill the air a bit with some banter.”

“At some point I suggested that we continue talking about the week’s reading,” Goodwin recounted, describing behaviors reminiscent of an ape beating his chest and pant-hooting at his inferiors to cement dominance. "I asked if anyone had thoughts on the beginning of Chapter 7, and I managed to get a discussion going. I was really steering the call for a moment.”

“Some other people in the class also tried to start conversations, but everyone was pretty much just listening to me at that point,” Goodwin continued, as though he had won a fight for alpha status by demonstrating his strength and sexual prowess, with his rivals exiled to barren grounds. “I just ran with it and put everyone in breakout rooms for a few minutes.”

When the professor finally returned, Goodwin promptly became silent, like a chimp presenting his rump and ceding control to a new superior.