“It’s a great way to remind everyone that I’m in charge,” Olsen explained, his neck an unwavering ninety degrees to the ground. “With ten different hats piled on my head, I can remind my workers that I’m just like them—but more important. You don’t become a ten-hat worker like me without semesters of loyal commitment to BUDS. This red hat? It belonged to the super before me. I outlasted him. I outlasted them all. I’m on top now.”

At press time, Olsen’s posture was fantastic.