“Honestly, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I wasn’t even trying to make him laugh,” remarked Dave Preston, palming his baby’s head like a basketball. “I was only doing it to vent my frustration onto something small and helpless. But after seeing this little bugger’s smile after I turned him into a human Shake Weight, I couldn’t help but start to enjoy the shaking myself.”

“My wife was actually pretty mad at me when I first told her about my discovery,” continued Preston, throwing his son in a perfect spiral across the room to his wife. “But she came around once she realized that a quick shake made everything from feeding to changing so much easier. Now, we shake him multiple times a day!”

“See? The harder I do it, the more he laughs,” observed Preston, demonstrating his point by vigorously shaking the small child to both of their amusement. “The worst thing though is that when I go to put him down, he immediately starts crying! It’s like stillness is painful for him. I gotta figure out a solution, my arms are getting tired.”

At press time, Preston was whipping his infant son around his head like a shirtless drunk at a football game.