“There’s no time for this frivolity,” she said, using a candle to illuminate her walk down the corridors of University Hall. “It’s the busiest time of the year. These students should be studying for their finals, not frolicking in the snow.”

“Get to a library!” Paxson bellowed at two students building a snowman. “You students need to get your priorities straight. And work harder!”

Sources report that Paxson was visited by the ghost of Brown University Past, Maud Mandel, that night.