“Huh. That’s weird. Isn’t Banksy British?” said area teen Heather Grable, who’s been friends with Kyle since fourth grade and knows Mr. Felman “pretty well.” “Sometimes he has paint stains on his jeans, but I assumed it was from, like, a fence or something. Crazy that he’s been acclaimed vigilante painter Banksy this whole time.”

“That explains why we’ve never seen Banksy’s face,” said Kyle’s friend Jamison Brazz, adding that the revelation makes sense now that he thinks about it. “It’s because Mr. Felman has been spending all his time over at his house grilling and asking me how tennis tryouts have been going!”

“It’s actually kind of brilliant,” Brazz finished.

At press time, Felman’s daughter Rachel was ripping up her “Balloon Girl” poster and declaring that she “never thought it was that cool anyway.”