“Sorry guys, I can’t help how strongly the air is gonna smell as soon as I get in hot water,” Art Bertino, your incredibly basil-like friend, said meekly, unaware that everyone was overjoyed at his contribution to the general scent of the hangout. “This happens every time I get in a hot tub. It’s a real hindrance to my ability to move in silence, everyone can tell where I am just from my scrumptious aroma.”

“People always thinks I’m cooking something, but it’s just me, being myself,” Bertino continued sadly while your other friends quietly started dumping dry spaghetti noodles into the hot tub and grating parmesan cheese. “It’s hard, making the air smell like a warm Italian kitchen every time I’m hot. Last week, I laid in the sun and dried out a bit, and it smelled so good that some guy tried to bite me.”

At press time, Bertino was placed delicately upon a slice of ricotta toast.