“I am reminded of a quote by a great philosopher,” said Bergeron. “‘To everything there is a season,’ he said. I think we would all do well to consider the meaning of this philosopher’s statement. And that is my 63rd favorite philosopher quote. 300 more to go.” She glanced at a faculty member who had stood up to leave, but promptly sat back down in his chair.

“I believe his name was Jean-Baptiste-Siméon Chardin,” added Bergeron, pronouncing the name over the course of three minutes.

As of press time, Bergeron had finished her speech, and had begun repeating it in every language.