Big-Ass Curly Fry Fetches A Record Price At Sotheby’s Auction

Published Friday, March 7th, 2014
Filed under Off Campus

Auctioneer Marc Bellester, who holds three degrees in Art History from Princeton, said the fry is unique “because it’s so goddamn big.”

“We’re talking about an exceptional specimen of greasy spoon here,” said Bellester. "It’s basically a monster truck shock absorber made of solid potato.”

“And,” he added, “it’s spiced to fuckin’ perfection.”

Since the fry sold, rumors have been circulating as to the identity of its anonymous buyer.

“It almost certainly went to international money,” said Lydia Charelle, of the Architectural Digest-ranked interior design firm Charelle-Watkin. “Chinese and Middle Eastern buyers have been the dominant forces in the fried oddity market—mondo onion rings, freakin’ long mozzie sticks, even thick-ass hush puppies.”

Some auction insiders believe the buyer to be Sheikh Hamad bin Hamdan Al Nahyan of Abu Dhabi. Just last year, the Sheikh bought a dick-shaped tater tot for $22.5 million.