“Ooh hoo hoo,” said student Lucas Healey, sitting in front of the newest edition of Essential Biology open to the chapter on reproduction. “Look, it’s a naked lady!”

“Oh my God, look at his pecs!” continued Healey, thankful that these illustrations meant that he could look at softcore porn without having to clear his internet search history. “Aw darn, why did they cover his privates with a textbox? That’s so lame.”

At press time, Healey was writing 80085 on a calculator because it spells “boobs.”