Sources close to a local sparrow confirm that he’s content to sit on the same telephone wire until he dies.
“I stopped here for a quick rest during my annual migration south, and then I just kinda stayed for a bit,” the sparrow said, wrapping his bird feet tight around the wire. “Quick as a diving falcon, it’s three years later, and I have no plans of moving and no goals for the future other than sitting right on this wire until I eventually kick the bucket.”
“It’s a nice life, I guess,” the sparrow continued, gesturing with his wing toward the thin, precarious expanse of telephone wire. “I can’t complain. There’s
a commercial strip right below me, so there’s pretty great people-watching, and I get to block the way of squirrels scurrying across. On the whole, there’s not much more I could ask for in the time before I go belly-up.”
“Sure, I once wanted a family, a career, but then I realized that what I truly need has always been right here, on this telephone wire,” he said, snapping up a small caterpillar in his beak. “Of course, I have some regrets, but sitting on this same wire for years isn’t one of them. In any case, I’m satisfied with the life I’m living, where I just sit right here on this telephone wire until I bite the dust.”
At press time, sources close to a local gopher confirmed that she’s good just squatting in this ground hole until she croaks.
Bird Just Gonna Sit On Telephone Wire Until It Dies
Published Monday, October 31st, 2022
Filed under Off Campus