“What do I think makes me a great safewalker?” Warner-Kellog asked, body shining yellow-green as he reflected the headlights of passing cars. “Well, I’m alert, personable, and I enjoy long walks at night!”

“I was a little nervous I wouldn’t get approved,” Warner-Kellog continued, emitting neon rays that enveloped his fellow safewalker and safewalkee in an impenetrable aura of protective visibility. “But they were extremely convinced that I was going to be the most effective safewalker of all time. I think they were just being encouraging.”

“Everybody tells me I can probably go out without my vest,” Warner-Kellog confided, patting his vest, which hung like a dull, useless husk over his dazzingly incandescent limbs and torso. “But I was like, no way! That’s unsafe.”

At press time, your orange friend was born to mark unspecified road hazards.