“For just a moment, the hue of the boy’s skin turned to the most brilliant shade of vermilion,” said Dr. Anthony Estrada, holding up different paint swatches to the boy’s skin to determine the exact hue. “The confluence of his skin-related symptoms resulted in one of the most remarkable displays I’ve ever seen in a patient—I’m lucky to have seen it. Also he died, which was tough.”

“I’m heartbroken to have lost a nephew,” said the child’s uncle, gazing sadly at the last photos of his stunningly-orange nephew. “But I was lucky to have been in the room when it happened. Man, it was something. And against the green of the hospital wall… it was a tasteful collage. Woof, sucks he died.”

At press time, a man diagnosed with tuberculosis and gonorrhea was mostly having a really bad time with no fun side effects.