“I love the world you’re building in this piece,” one classmate said, emphasizing that there’s some really beautiful language here. “But most of the characters feel kind of one-dimensional, and the last few pages were very hard to follow and could probably use reworking. Maybe that’s just me.”

There was consensus around the room that you’ve really made us curious about this girl and her ghost dog, but there currently isn’t much plot or structure and you need to figure out where you actually want to take this story.

“I thought this line about her backpack was super interesting,” another classmate commented, making it clear that, ultimately, it’s your story and you should do what feels right. “But if you’re looking for things to edit, I’d recommend you cut this middle section and maybe change the point of view and also reconsider most of the basic assumptions of the piece which I think are sort of lacking in nuance.”

At the end of the workshop session, everyone expressed that they can’t wait to see where you take this piece.