“What can we say, we love our small vehicles!” explained troupe leader Boingo Bongo, scrolling through the Uber app while juggling five bowling pins. “It’s what brings us closer together! Oh, hmm, I’m not sure the car has a middle seat in the back? Eh, whatever! We’ll make it work.”

“Hooray, our ride’s here! Wait, this is perfect—there is more than enough for all 17 of us plus our luggage,” continued Boingo Bongo, watching proudly as Curly, Flopsy, Skippy, Tickles, Dumpty, Zeppy, Zippy, Booboo, Giggles, Ditso, Pickles, Bubbles, Twizzle, Zazzo, Flonko, and Snorple disappeared into the minuscule backseat of the Uber driver’s Kia Fit. “Here, let me put our kazoos, unicycles, and striped circus tent in the trunk.”

“These fucking clowns,” whispered the disgruntled Uber driver, putting on his headphones to block out the sound of Zeppy loudly banging the cymbals. “It’s every time, I swear. I better get a good tip for this.”

At press time, a mime troupe was definitely gonna select Uber’s “Quiet Preferred” option.