“Listen, I’ve been meaning to say this for a while,” sources describe Taylor as saying, before reciprocating a curt nod and quick tilt of the hand to Rich Laymore ‘17, a classmate from her economics section. “I don’t know if we’re right for each other.”

“I’m not sure I understand what you mean,” Greenberg was heard to respond, reportedly understanding completely, before a friend of his from high school walked past and threw him a double peace sign eliciting a broad feigned smile from the freshman.

“Hey, guys!” The soon-to-be-ex couple reported hearing from Greenberg’s roommate Chris Peters ‘19. Peters was seen approaching the table of the soon-to-be-ex couple with a clipboard and pen. “I’m running for UCS, do you think you can sign for me?” “Yeah, of course,” Taylor and Greenberg reportedly responded in perfect synchrony, a sharp echo of the connection they were in the process of dissolving permanently.

“Thanks so much!” Peters added after receiving the pen back from Taylor. “You guys are adorable.”