“That super sweet stuff never quite did it for me,” he bragged, clearly feeling superior to everyone else at the dinner table. “I know you guys love your sugar cookies and your slurpees but to me all those processed desserts are just junk.”

“I know nuts aren’t for everyone, not everyone has a taste for them like I do,” Beverly continued, speaking to no one in particular as he reached for another helping of almonds. “But nowadays everyone loves that prepackaged crap. Not me though, I’ve always preferred the real stuff.”

At press time, Beverly was incredibly eager to tell everyone that his favorite drink is black coffee.