“Dad is awesome,” said Matt. “He let’s me do whatever I want. Like last week when I asked if I could iron his shirt — he let me do that.”

Matt maintains that conditions at Mom’s house are markedly less cool. Though Jeff insists that Matt call him by his first name and acknowledges that he will never replace Matt’s father, Matt remains suspicious. Matt went on to complain about how Mom’s place doesn’t have the good cable package and that Jeff doesn’t know how to organize the Legos.

Sources confirm that three weekends ago Dad let Matt watch him practice his golf swing for nearly 45 minutes before the two went out for chicken wings.