“I thought you might be interested in this,” wrote Greg Swanson over text, trying to connect with his daughter studying all the way across the country through an article about whale bones. “They’re supposed to be like 1000 years old, isn’t that crazy?”

“They even found a baby one,” wrote Swanson in a subsequent text, desperate to be part of his daughter’s life after the divorce. “What kind of mileage do you think they have on their bone-dometers?”

“Do you think they found evidence of Pinocchio and his crew in there?” Swanson proceeded via text, since he remembered his daughter really liking Pinocchio as a kid. “I mean, they are pretty big bones if you read the article.”

At press time, Erin received a text from her mom with a Buzzfeed article about 10 bald celebrities hotter than Prince William.