“I hate vegetables! I WON’T eat them. I hate them! I hate them! I hate them!” reported Grayson when asked about his dietary preferences with a belly full of mud, glue, yarn, and 1x1 lego pieces. “Mom is always taking away my iPad because I wouldn’t eat dinner. It’s so unfair! Her food is disgusting, and I won’t stand for it.”

“No, I do NOT like spicy foods. I do NOT like liquid foods. I do NOT like bread crusts. I do NOT like yogurt. When different foods touch each other, I will NOT eat ANY of it,” declared Grayson despite having a refined enough palette to try subversive alternatives on the so-called concept of “food” such as book covers, erasers, tinfoil, and candle wax. “If you give me rice, sure, I will eat it, but I’ll make a big stink out of it and only eat it one grain at a time so I won’t taste it! If you give me pasta, I WILL make a face the whole meal.”

At press time, your friend who can’t get off of YouTube Shorts somehow has an unbelievably pretentious taste in movies on Letterbox.