“When I was a kid," Pruitt lamented, "I wanted a White Christmas and I never got it. At my senior baseball game at University of Kentucky, it was drizzling all day. Nobody showed up. My wedding day? Hail. The climate never supported me so how can I be expected to support it? The climate never even apologized.”

At the press conference, Pruitt recounted other past events with the climate and got increasingly choked up. “Climate change is not real. Climate change is not real. The climate is so, so fake,” Pruitt exclaimed.