“Is that a dog?” asked Greg Marks, looking straight at the 20 pound, trash-eating, tick-infested beast of a rodent. “Did it just crawl out of the dumpster?”

“It might be a chihuahua,” added Angel Marks, also staring down the circle-shaped mammal. “I think some breeds look like that.”

“We should probably keep our distance,” advised Greg in case the corpulent animal was feeling aggressive. “I think it just growled at me.”

At press time, a fat dog was a borderline bear.