“We are excited to announce that, after a week of dedicated studying, Congressman O’Rourke received an 89% on his Spanish 300 midterm,” read the press release. “The Congressman would like to extend heartfelt thanks to all of his supporters for their thoughts and prayers.”
O’Rourke’s Spanish teacher was quick to praise his newest student. “Beto is a pleasure to have in class,” he told the Congressman's parents at their most recent parent-teacher conference. “He picked up some cute little Spanish phrases here and there on the campaign trail, but he’s improved leaps and bounds now that he’s got all this time on his hands.”
Sources close to the Congressman report that he has struggled with choosing which past tense to use, and he often has trouble remembering if "biblioteca" is masculine or feminine. In spite of these difficulties, O’Rourke was able to earn what his office described as “a big surprise, and an excellent grade.”
At press time, Senator Cory Booker asked Congressman O’Rourke to take pictures of his notes.