“Franklin?” Preston asked hopefully as Frinklin shook his head while picking his boogers furiously. “Is Frinklin a nickname for Franklin? Surely it must be. This is an inside joke with your high school friends right? You had friends in high school, right?”

“Well, Frinklin… What kind of stuff do you like to do? Do you have hobbies?” Preston tried again warily, as Frinklin silently gestured to the pile of headless dolls he had left in the middle of their double. “Right, I saw the dolls, yeah. That’s cool. Is that like a bit? Haha.”

“Dude I’m fucked,” Preston confessed on the phone to his older brother as Frinklin left to go ‘scope out the gutters’ while wearing an anime hoodie. “My roommates a freak. Yeah no, his name is actually Frinklin. This is so cooked.”

At press time, your aunt was somehow named Sparkle.