Freshman Seeking Entrance To Crew Party Like Haggard Beggar Seeking Shelter From Storm

Published Friday, September 16th, 2022
Filed under Campus Life

“Um, so are you guys full in there?” asked Angler, eyes imploring the senior manning the door like a battered vagabond hoping for a warm meal and a bed by the hearth for the evening. “I think my friend is inside; could I go find him?”

“No, I don’t know the names of anyone on the team,” added a downtrodden Angler, desperate as if he had been weathering a freezing downpour for hours and this house was his only chance of respite. “Can’t I just go in for a second? Hey, you’re letting those girls in!”

At press time, Angler was transforming into a beautiful sorceress and hexing the crew team to punish their pride and arrogance.