“A fluffy little body, big ears, and a cute snout? Come on! This bat could’ve been the perfect creature,” said local hiker Lucas Thompson, watching in terror as the bat flapped around on its horrifying skin wings of death. “Too bad it was completely ruined by those fleshy wings.”

“Such a waste, honestly. Those bright eyes hold so much kindness and wisdom. I’d love to keep such a sweet, fuzzy animal as a pet,” continued Thompson, shuddering at the sight of the bat’s wings, covered in veins with long finger-like appendages. “If it wasn’t for those darn disgusting skin wings. This bat will never be anything but revolting.”

At press time, sources from the beach report that the pelican would be a lovely bird if it wasn’t for that disturbing stretchy beak pouch.