“To be honest I could pretty much cover all of the material in a few minutes,” said Berg, staring at the blinking cursor next to “Week 3: Metamorphic.” “There are only three types of rock, for chrissake, how the hell can I make this last 15 weeks?”

“Okay, if I just accept that I have to give each type of rock five weeks, I can start planning this class seriously,” said Berg, beginning to scribble down a note reading “let them touch the rocks??” “My buddy knows a lot about igneous rock, so I bet I could knock off a class by getting him as a guest lecturer. I could get a grad student to talk about sedimentary rocks for a class too. Maybe I could just end every class with a half hour of pair and share discussion? That’d kill a lot of time.”

“Oh god this isn’t going to work,” said a dejected Dr. Berg, realizing he can only think of one question for the final exam: name the three types of rock. “Oh well, I guess I’ll just make this class remote so no one will take it.”

At press time, a geography professor doesn’t know what to do now that he taught his students the seventh continent.