“I’m pretty impressed,” said sophomore Alex Royal after seeing the girl unload silverware and napkins that she had packed ahead of time. “To be able to pre-make that big of a salad means she’s got her life in order. Look, she even has a little side container for her salad dressing! That right there is commitment.”

“How did she even get all those vegetables together at once?” continued Royal. “Did she take a trip to Whole Foods? That girl has some serious time management skills if she was able to pull that off. She probably pickles her own damn vegetables like some rustic chef. Props to her.”

At press time, the girl reportedly only had two tabs open on her computer browser despite taking five classes, writing a thesis, and being the captain of the volleyball team.