“I was feeling pretty confident when I was chasing him through the dunes,” said Darner while being eyed warily by the local children. “But then he ran straight into the rug part of the bazaar, and I just couldn’t bob and weave through the draped, ornately patterned cloth as naturally as he could.”

“I was almost done needlessly destroying a third elderly seamstress’s livelihood when I saw the bastard charm a snake right out of its wicker basket only to jump in it himself,” said Darner, checking his shirt to make sure the top two buttons were still undone. “Then, like a coordinated dance, everyone working at the market started picking up all the identical wicker baskets and shifting them around. That’s when I knew I would never find the Pharaoh’s Jewels.”

At press time, Darner ducked at just the right time to avoid a poison dart.