Jesse's articles
Deranged psychologist Cynthia Schulz, PsyD has been coming up with vile hypotheticals for her unfortunate patients.
“What if all the people tied to the railroad tracks were babies? What if they were also racist?” asked Dr. Schulz to the child of divorce in her office.
On Dec. 3, the When2meet team announced an update to the scheduling software that will allow event organizers to identify availabilities in a whole new way: by scent.
“Smell that? Tea tree. That’s how you know all 17 of the test respondents are available,” said When2meet developer Don Engel, PhD, hovering the nose-shaped cursor icon over a green time slot.
Sources report that while to the untrained eye, Orson Hwang ’29 might seem like anyone else, upon closer inspection, he is just a little portlier, more moist, and virtually immortal.
“I’ve been like this for as long as I can remember,” said Orson from inside a large pot of boiling water.
American hero Kris Darner PhD was in pursuit of a foreign ne’er-do-well running amok in an exotic land but lost track of his mark in the busy fabric section of the marketplace.
“I was feeling pretty confident when I was chasing him through the dunes,” said Darner while being eyed warily by the local children.
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