“At first it was kind of sweet,” reported a frustrated Walker. “But then I realized the only times my grandbabies call me is when they need a quick quote about consumerism in the 1950s or a brief statement about the Kennedy assassination.”

“Last week Zachary called me for his report on the stock market crash of ’29," Walker added, moving aggressively back and forth in her rocker. "I wasn’t even alive in the 20s!”

At press time, Walker was insisting she will absolutely not tell Zachary or Miles about the effects of the GI Bill.