“He’s a handsome young man, this one,” read your grandma’s text, followed by links to a religious dating advice website. “He says he is single. And he is 21. I showed him a picture of you and he really likes you!”

“Let me know what you think,” texted your grandma before emphasizing how dashing his red polo looks on him. “I think you two would make a BEAUTIFUL couple! With beautiful children.”

At press time, your grandpa sent you a picture of a bowl asking you if you wanted it.