Nico's articles
Through a recent Instagram post, Brown Dining Services announced their brand new addition to the menu: Chocolate and Potato Chip Cookie Potato Chips.
“We’re always looking for new ways to reinvent classic dishes,” stated Vice President of Dining Services Stanley Hoover as he looked for his tall white chef’s hat.
According to a new text, your grandma is trying to set you up with a local Target worker.
“He’s a handsome young man, this one,” read your grandma’s text, followed by links to a religious dating advice website. “He says he is single. And he is 21.
After four long and tedious years of study in the city of Providence, senior Anna Mackenzie will somehow still be here next semester.
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than this bustling city full of opportunities,” shared Mackenzie as she strolled down the deserted streets of downtown Providence.
After carefully debating where to spend her time after graduating, senior Ashley Sloth from California has decided to move back to her home state of California because there really is nothing like California.
“A lot of people have been wondering where I will be next year, and I think I have finally determined that I will be going back to California,” declared Sloth as she recovered from the utter shock of meeting yet another student from the Bay Area.
Sources from a senior send-off event organized by the Nelson Center for Entrepreneurship report that student Brandon Jackson is eager to finally graduate and entreprune. “It really is an exciting time to go out into the real world and entreprune,” stated Jackson as he entrepruned with investors for the eco-conscious venture-backed high-tech start-up he hopes to launch before the summer.
Hey Kelly! Congrats on getting that Wellness single. ResLife would literally be so dumb if they didn’t accept you. You, like, always do your yoga things in the morning and you’re the spitting image of health. Anyways, I just wanted you to know that Gale, Sam and I fully support whatever decision you make with housing.
Following the success of their recent “Smashing Winter Spectacular” event, SV announced that they will be hosting a “Turnt Toga Tuesday” party in the same venue with the same student DJs as the past seven years.
“They’re saying it’ll be one for the books,” said freshman promoter Heather Long as she posted an Instagram Story encouraging students to use her code heather20 for 20% off ticket price.
According to a new LinkedIn job update posted for his whole network, freshman Lucas Grove is “extremely excited” to intern at Stop and Shop this summer.
“I have been wanting to share the good news for quite a while now,” read Grove’s post, accompanied by a screenshot of his offer letter.
A trailer for HBO Max’s upcoming season of “The White Lotus” confirms rumors that the new season will take place where Brown University students vacationed over break.
“This new season is going to give audiences a glance into the comforts and calamities of the ultra-rich,” explained Mike White, creator of the show, peering over the sea of Brown University baseball caps while on location.
A trailer for HBO Max’s upcoming season of “The White Lotus” confirms rumors that the new season will take place where Brown University students vacationed over break.
“This new season is going to give audiences a glance into the comforts and calamities of the ultra-rich,” explained Mike White, creator of the show, peering over the sea of Brown University baseball caps while on location.
Following the recent news that the economy might go into a recession, sophomore Debra Fisch is hopeful that the amount of male economics concentrators at Brown will decrease.
“I remember turning on the TV and seeing the news. I was so upset that the market was tanking,” said Debra, hiding her relief at the prospect of fewer men becoming econ concentrators.
According to a newly created Facebook event, Brown’s student theatre group The Lion Sing will be performing the 1846 musical “Jolly Good Day!” instead of Mamma Mia. “I just keep expecting to see Mamma Mia someday,” sighed senior Joe Prancer, whose only wish is to hear someone belt out ABBA songs on a desolate Greek island as they search for their true birth father.
Sources report that members of ConsultingPAX, one of the consulting clubs at Brown, have somehow developed a strong passion for consulting. “It’s all about the thrill of solving real-world problems," exclaimed e-board member Duncan Klein, completing his fourth hour of data entry of the day.
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