“Yeah, I live in James Mead, why?” Logan asked as he emanated waves of odor that could have only originated from the sweaty, pungent halls of Keeney Quad. “It’s really not that bad, and it’s close to the Ratty, so that’s pretty nice.”

It is reported that multiple Metcalf residents fainted as Logan passed them on his trek to the fetid dorm that he called home.

“I guess it would be nice to live in a newer dorm, but it’s not really so bad in here,” Logan continued as asbestos flakes fell into his lap, “I think that people are too dramatic. I haven’t even noticed a smell!”

At press time, one of the chosen people of Danoff was seen levitating to class on a golden cloud.