“Thanks everyone who came to the meeting!” the email began. “I know we’re all super busy. For those of you who weren’t there (no worries!!!), we came up with a general outline for the upcoming workshop.”

“Check out the Google Doc to sign up for committees!” added Ma in a valiant attempt to convince the dozens of elusive members that the group is robust enough to merit delegation.

The audacious email continued with multiple far-fetched allusions to forthcoming social events as well as a call for “distribution of effort” to organize an end-of-the-year party that will almost certainly be orchestrated entirely by Ma.

“It’s been a fantastic semester,” said Ma, concealing his fears that the group will die out once he graduates. “For anyone who hasn’t been to meetings lately, it’s never too late to get involved!”