“I just haven’t gotten the chance to pick it up much recently,” reported Michelson, who still identifies as a guitarist. “I get so busy during the week; it’s just hard to find the time to pluck around like I used to.”

According to Michelson’s friends, they’ve never seen him actually touch the guitar, only talk about it in fond remembrance.

“I mean, it’s nice to have around just in case there’s a jam session or something,” continued Michelson, making sure his guitar was still leaning casually beside his beanbag chair as he scrolled through Instagram. “Too bad I’m so busy all the time. I just wish I had more time to be creative these days."

At press time, the books on Michelson’s shelf were purely aspirational.