The widely popular test meant to reveal the true psychological profiles of anyone who completes it was initially a publicity stunt suggested by Hillary’s press team, yet the ambitious group immediately regretted their idea once the results were in. “There’s really not supposed to be a right or wrong result with these things,” said one anonymous staffer. “But she certainly got it wrong.”

“Honestly, if anybody wrote such horrible things about me,” the staffer continued. “I’d want to burn it too. It was bad. It was so bad.”

At press time, under direct order from Hillary, no staffers were permitted to leave the campaign office for comment.