“I’m not really sure how to feel about it,” said Lin over the sound of Careless Whisper blaring from behind her locked dormitory door. “I guess this is better than just inviting someone over unannounced, but she won’t stop acting like an overbearing club leader trying to organize an e-board meeting. She made us all download Slack so she could ping us whenever she needed the room to herself… It’s so annoying!”

“I don’t know what she’s complaining about,” protested Sandy Brighton, schedule-sending an email booty call. “This is a great system! Now I don’t have to worry about texting the group chat every time I want to see my friend with benefits. In fact, I already sent him the GCal invite for tonight!”

At press time, the polycule next door was attempting to register an orgy on 25Live.