“Honestly, there’s nothing I love more than deconstructing liminal paradigms from a postmodernist perspective,” said Marinson, pacing Lacanianly around her Page-Rob classroom. “But in order to do that, we have to hold space. Otherwise, how can we expect to interrogate dialogues about intersectional frameworks in Adirondack chair construction?”

“Young artists: It is imperative that you sit with these dialectics while troubling the hegemonic ontologies which occupy the narrative,” Marinson announced to her bewildered students, who began frantically checking their notes to find out what exactly they were meant to be holding space for. “Now, more than ever, we must unpack underlying constructs and fight for a more just society — specifically, by writing a 300-word discussion post on the use of yonic imagery in wood-grain table design.”

At press time, a STEM Professor was gearing up to mumble made-up terminology while scribbling illegibly on the blackboard.