After pulling the blinds and dimming the lights to diminish the sharp ringing that penetrated the skulls of American lawmakers, a long succession of hearings was held to determine what exactly had occurred.

Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi remarked, “I remember something about ordering a hundred iguanas, a tax subsidies bill and I think Boehner sang a song from ‘My Fair Lady’?”

Boehner denied the claim, saying, “I have never seen ‘My Fair Lady’ so that’s just impossible. Then again I do vaguely remember doing a mean step ball change with the Majority Whip.”

Congress was also unable to account for the deployment of three Predator drones to a nearby Bed Bath & Beyond, as well as a declaration of war against Belgium submitted on a paper bag, which contained a hamburger and a nude picture of Joe Biden.

President Obama responded to the incident, saying “whatever happened last night was inappropriate and shameful, even for the U.S. Congress.” He added, “Seriously. I have like fifty drunk texts from Barbara Boxer asking me if they’re really going to make the Arrested Development movie. This is pitiful.”