I Just Bought A New Pair Of Headphones, So I Hope You Can All Hjkkkkhhmnrrrrrrwjkzmeeeeeeek by Your Professor

Published Friday, October 30th, 2020
Filed under Opinion

Yes? Good? We’re good to gpppppppzaaaaaaaak? Wow, I really miss the banter of the classroom. You lose so much when you chrkkkkkkkkissshhhhhhhak instead of rxxxxxxippugkkkghgh. But at least with these headphones in, you can’t hear my kids upstairs playing with zhrccccccccchh or my husband in the next room kheeeeeeeeeeeeeeekhzgh so loudly. Really solves everything, doesn’t it? Now let me tilt my screen so you can see my entire ceiling, and we can get strkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkied.

I want to give you a quick overview of the midterm: you’ll have fkhhhhhwhhh minutes to shkkkghbbbb a thkkkrkryrk without — and this is important — without ever shkpyyyytvvvppkhiiiilpkghgggggggghz. Got it? Everything clear? Samantha, you look a little confuwkkkkkkkkkqqqooooomm.

I know this isn’t ideal, guys, but at least with my new headphones we can all hear each other clear as day. OK — anyone have any quzzzzzzzzzzzekorrrrrrkhs?